Thought Smorgasbord
I get asked a lot what I am doing in my life. With a title like Neighborhood Revitalization Coordinator - it gets a little confusing! I started this job at the end of October last year, and while I work for an organization with a great mission of eliminating poverty housing, sometimes I don't feel like I'm making a difference. I mean, after visiting Haiti and working there - I'm sure I'd feel that way about almost any job in the United States. But then we had an amazing project this weekend with an amazing veteran and his family. With volunteers and a corporate partner, we replaced their roof and transformed the yard. I got to be out there for 6 hours on Saturday, and even used a nail gun to put some shingles on the roof. I LOVE when I'm actually out doing the work - makes the weeks of administrative preparation worth it.
But I still want to be back in Haiti helping there and am working hard to start a tourist business with profits going to help rescue and educate restaveks (slave children) and employ local Haitians. Two friends and I came up with the idea last summer during a warm night in Haiti, and it's been a driving passion of mine ever since. Sometimes it seems impossible and I don't know what to do next, and then small things will happen to propel the ideas forward. My INFJ personality summary says that my "personality type is very rare," I have "an inborn sense of idealism and morality" am not an "ideal dreamer but a [person] capable of taking concrete steps to realize my goals and make a lasting positive impact." Though "soft spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in." And this is where it starts to sound even more like me! "INFJs are likely to find that most corporate career paths are not designed for them...many INFJs struggle to being a career early on because they see ten wildly different paths forward, each with its own intrinsic rewards, alluring but also heartbreaking, because each means abandoning so much else...despite their aversion to controlling others, they establish their independence by either finding a leadership position or simply starting their own practice." -so weird how this personality thing is right on. I do see so many paths, and I feel like when I accept one, it means I lose something in the other.
This leads of course to... dating. I see miracles in so many areas of life, but dating has not really been one of them. I was in a long-distance relationship with one of my best friends - but he lives in Haiti. The decision to drop that was so difficult. Moving forward with him meant leaving everything here behind. But staying here meant leaving him and everything I love about Haiti behind. I felt like I needed to date other people. And I have been. But I turn 26 soon, and have been wondering about my priorities. Will someone fall in love with a girl that is so passionate about starting a business in Haiti, visiting there more often and one day adopting children? Or are those dreams that I need to be willing to let go of? I've been reading quotes about not being seduced by the doctrine of self-fulfillment - and I've wondered if that's what I'm doing.
As I've shared my concerns with friends about dating and my future path - I've seen tender mercies in their responses, reminding me that the Lord is there and hears my prayers, even if my future isn't clear to me yet and even though I haven't had a breakthrough dating/marriage miracle yet.
My friend Jessica said, "I think it's awesome what you are doing with this business idea. I don't know if you could be happy with someone who doesn't encourage and support your efforts...I think as long as you don't use this to hide from getting married then you'll be fine to pursue it. And imagine what an amazing example you'll be to your children of serving others! And YES - pursue these dreams while you wait for the Lord's timing and yours to align."
So - that's my rambling for the day. My life is wonderful and full of blessings - just confusing sometimes :)
But I still want to be back in Haiti helping there and am working hard to start a tourist business with profits going to help rescue and educate restaveks (slave children) and employ local Haitians. Two friends and I came up with the idea last summer during a warm night in Haiti, and it's been a driving passion of mine ever since. Sometimes it seems impossible and I don't know what to do next, and then small things will happen to propel the ideas forward. My INFJ personality summary says that my "personality type is very rare," I have "an inborn sense of idealism and morality" am not an "ideal dreamer but a [person] capable of taking concrete steps to realize my goals and make a lasting positive impact." Though "soft spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in." And this is where it starts to sound even more like me! "INFJs are likely to find that most corporate career paths are not designed for them...many INFJs struggle to being a career early on because they see ten wildly different paths forward, each with its own intrinsic rewards, alluring but also heartbreaking, because each means abandoning so much else...despite their aversion to controlling others, they establish their independence by either finding a leadership position or simply starting their own practice." -so weird how this personality thing is right on. I do see so many paths, and I feel like when I accept one, it means I lose something in the other.
This leads of course to... dating. I see miracles in so many areas of life, but dating has not really been one of them. I was in a long-distance relationship with one of my best friends - but he lives in Haiti. The decision to drop that was so difficult. Moving forward with him meant leaving everything here behind. But staying here meant leaving him and everything I love about Haiti behind. I felt like I needed to date other people. And I have been. But I turn 26 soon, and have been wondering about my priorities. Will someone fall in love with a girl that is so passionate about starting a business in Haiti, visiting there more often and one day adopting children? Or are those dreams that I need to be willing to let go of? I've been reading quotes about not being seduced by the doctrine of self-fulfillment - and I've wondered if that's what I'm doing.
As I've shared my concerns with friends about dating and my future path - I've seen tender mercies in their responses, reminding me that the Lord is there and hears my prayers, even if my future isn't clear to me yet and even though I haven't had a breakthrough dating/marriage miracle yet.
My friend Jessica said, "I think it's awesome what you are doing with this business idea. I don't know if you could be happy with someone who doesn't encourage and support your efforts...I think as long as you don't use this to hide from getting married then you'll be fine to pursue it. And imagine what an amazing example you'll be to your children of serving others! And YES - pursue these dreams while you wait for the Lord's timing and yours to align."
So - that's my rambling for the day. My life is wonderful and full of blessings - just confusing sometimes :)
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