To all you RM's out there and anyone else confused about life!

I'm sharing this with the permission of my friend Shannon. She and I were next door neighbors one semester at BYU, and we entered the MTC on the same day! We've both been struggling with trusting God and figuring out our way since our missions, and I loved this post she put on facebook. And below it is a beautiful song from an elder I served with.

Last weekend I had a very interesting answer to a prayer.  And then I was prompted to write about it.  (Sorry, I don't blog. Maybe someday.)

The impression came as a sudden urge to go digging through all of the old family photo albums in what I thought was a search for a particular photo that I hadn't seen in several years.  What I didn't know was that the Lord was using that search to teach me something else entirely.

I happened upon an envelope containing pictures of my 6th grade graduation.  I stared at them for a minute, mentally criticizing my atrocious choice of clothing and wondering why my mother allowed me to be seen wearing it in public.  And then a memory of that ceremony that had long been forgotten suddenly flooded my mind...

It was nearing the end of the awards presentation, and the teachers announced the distribution of certificates for students they felt earned a spot on the "honor roll," resulting from consistent good grades, attendance, work ethic, and all other qualities that make a superior student.  

The reading of the names began, and the presentation of the much coveted certificates commenced.

As each name was called in alphabetical order, I anxiously awaited the reading of MY name, fully expecting to be on that list of honor roll students.  As they reached the T's, I got ready to stand to retrieve my award. I scooted to the edge of my chair...  And then suddenly, they were in the U names, then V, and then on through Z.  "They skipped me!" I thought. I looked around at those students sitting near me.  "Did they forget me?" I thought. How could they forget??"  A girl next to me, holding her award, looked at me in confusion and said, "Why didn't YOU get one?"  I stared at her in bewilderment and the only response I could muster was, "I don't know..."

I sat in silent disappointment. Had I not been a good student? Had I not had perfect attendance?  Did I not work hard and do all of my homework and pass all of my tests?  Hadn't I done everything right?  How could I possibly still be sitting here without that award while others around me gripped theirs in proud satisfaction?

What happened next was not expected, and quite honestly impacted my little 11 year old life.  My teacher stood in front of the audience an announced that there were two students whom she felt had gone above and beyond her expectations as a teacher, and would therefore be awarded the "Student of the Year" award instead of an honor roll certificate.  

One was presented to a young man in my class.

The other was given to me.  

A miniscule moment in time, no doubt, and one I don't think I would have remembered 14 years later except for the fact that the Lord brought it to my attention as a very important principle He wanted me to learn.  I realized how surprisingly similar my current situation is to that of my elementary school graduation.  I think we often find ourselves looking around at the blessings others have received and notice a lack in our own life of said blessing(s).  We sometimes question our circumstances as we compare them to those of others. "Did God forget me?  Was I skipped over?  Have I not been a good person?  Do I not work hard?  Haven't I done everything right?"

In moments like these I can picture God watching and listening to our doubts and wishing we had the patience and faith to see that no, we were NOT skipped and no He DIDN'T forget.  Everyone receives their promised blessings.  

Always.

It isn't when we think they will come, but they do come.  

And usually it's something a heck of a lot better than what we thought we wanted, just like a Student of the Year award instead of an honor roll certificate.

Even returned missionaries need reminders on the principle of faith.  I know I do.